


Cancel or Allow

by Sanalith



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-20
Updated: 2012-03-20
Packaged: 2017-11-02 07:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanalith/pseuds/Sanalith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When I asked for an SS/HG prompt, a computer programmer from RL gave me a real one: Windows Vista's "Cancel or Allow." He meant it as a joke, but I ran with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cancel or Allow

At first, she found it charming. Almost romantic, even.   
  
Whenever he did something for her, especially if was something fresh and new, he asked if it was all right. Dinner plans, evenings at the theatre, even a bottle of wine before a roaring fire. Since he wasn’t at all the romantic type, even such small gestures melted her heart. He was actually trying to make this work, putting forth effort into their relationship! She’d never expect grand displays of affection, especially when other people were involved, but he never once treated her like a dirty little secret. They attended public functions and Ministry events arm in arm, and every now and then she almost saw some pride in his face. He enjoyed having her with him, and that made her heart sing. If he was somewhat hesitant in truly showing his emotions, well, so what?  
  
She understood, without question. It was new to him, this idea of loving someone and actually being loved in return. He didn’t want to spoil it, didn’t want to move too fast or too slow. And it’s not like he’d ever been the demonstrative type to begin with, so there was no real surprise. It was touching, in the beginning, and almost heady. This powerful, courageous, proud man, who’d stood toe to toe with the two most powerful wizards in the world and _won_ , was actually worried about what SHE thought of him!  
  
Well, if nothing else, she finally had his attention.  
  
But after a while, it became less charming and more repressive. Almost a year into the relationship and he was still clearly uncomfortable and unsure, still always asking if the plans he made met with her approval. Did he believe she would bolt if he made one wrong step, throw his feelings back in his face and flounce off into the arms of some other man? Did he truly think so little of her?  
  
And what of him? Surely he hated being forced into this shy, uncertain shell of the man he once was. He was used to terrorizing students, to striding around in billowing black robes and instilling fear into silly dunderheads. It was his snark, his wit, his confidence that originally ensnared her heart. Had she reduced him to this shadow of himself? Instead of saving him, had her feelings returned him to the solitary boy who sat alone in his room and used his magical gift to idly swat flies? How cruel love could be.  
  
The final straw came on her birthday, when she flooed into their flat and found the most lovely scene waiting for her. The lights were dimmed, the table was set with candles and flowers, and he was waiting for her with a rare smile on his lips. Overjoyed, she flew into his arms, kissing his cheek and thanking him, her heart lighter than it had been in weeks.  
  
And then he pulled back slightly, and the uncertainty was back in his eyes as he asked, “I wasn’t positive if this…if you would perhaps rather be with your friends…I would understand…”  
  
And the lightness went out of her heart and her bright eyes dimmed. Even now, after so long, how could he not _know_???  
  
“Severus,” she said quietly, “I think we need to talk.”  
  
His face shuttered at her tone, and guilt flooded her at the pain she was clearly causing, but this was not how she wanted them to continue. She hadn’t pulled him back from the edge of death for _this_.  
  
“Why in Merlin’s name would I want to be anywhere else?” she asked, sitting him down on the sofa beside her and taking his hands.  
  
He toyed with her fingers, rubbing them gently between his thumbs. “Why in Merlin’s name would you NOT want to be anywhere else?”  
  
She closed her eyes, breath catching in her throat. “How many different ways can I possibly say how much I love you before you’ll finally believe it?”  
  
He had no answer for her. She knew he wouldn’t, but that made no difference. Bitterness crept into her heart as she thought about his past, all the rejection he’d suffered, the merciless teasing, the bowing and scraping he’d been forced to perform for his masters. No one had ever shown him even a spark of true friendship, much less love. And now he had no war to fight, no annoying boy to protect, and he was just so bloody _tired_ of always being the hero and yet seen as nothing but a villain and a murderer.  
  
She wanted to scream and rage at the world for making him this way, for breaking him down and leaving him like this. He expected rejection and pain because it was all he’d ever known.  
  
And she’d be damned if that’s how their story ended.  
  
He’d been their savior long enough. Now it was her turn. She’d turned away from the accolades of the world, the title of hero and the brains behind the Golden Trio. Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age. She’d done nothing more than what was right. That made her human, no more and no less.  
  
But she’d be a hero for him. For _them_. Screw Voldemort and the Death Eaters. This was her true battle, and there was no way in hell she was losing.


End file.
